Everything I Can't Remember
by Sugar Orion
Summary: A young reporter stumbles across something very important to Xanatos, and becomes the target of a dark plan. Sequel (of sorts) To Refuse to Feel (Anything At All).


**Everything I Can't Remember** **By: Kyra c/o mike_comrie89@hotmail.com**

Title: Everything I Can't Remember   
Author: Kyra   
Rating: PG-13   
Archive: Well Sure! All press is good press!   
Feedback: Please…please…I'm dying…   
Summary: A young reporter stumbles across something very important to Xanatos, and becomes the target of a dark plan. Sequel (of sorts) To Refuse to Feel.   
Warnings: None yet...   
Disclaimer: Lucas owns 'em. I own nothing. It would do you alot of good to read the first part of this story. Refuse to Feel (Anything At All) is another fic that laid the ground pieces for this. This one, again, is based on a song. The wonderful band Staind and their song It's Been a While off of Break the Cycle. It's copy written by Flip music, I think. School starts soon, so don't hold your breath for chapter two. Unless I get alot of feedback. Hint, hint. 

**It's Been Awhile**   
_Staind   
It's been awhile, since I could   
Hold my head high   
It's been awhile since I first saw you   
It's been a while since I could stand   
On my own two feet again   
It's been awhile since I could call you   
But everything I can't remember   
As fucked up as it all may seem   
The consequences that I've rendered   
I've stretched myself beyond my means   
It's been awhile since I could say   
That I wasn't addicted   
It's been a while since I could say   
I love myself as well   
It's been awhile since I've gone and fucked things up   
Just like I always do   
But all that shit seems to disappear   
When I'm with you   
But everything I can't remember   
As fucked up as it all may seem   
The consequences that I've rendered   
I've gone and fucked things up again.   
Why must I feel this way   
Just make this go away   
Just one more peaceful day   
It's been awhile since I could   
Look at myself straight   
It's been awhile since I said I'm sorry   
It's been awhile since I've seen the way   
the candles light your face   
But I can still remember   
Just the way you taste   
But everything I can't remember   
As fucked up as it all may seem to be   
I know it's me   
I cannot blame this on my father   
He did the best he could for me   
It's been awhile since I could   
Hold my head up high   
And It's been awhile since I said I'm sorry... _

**Chapter One**

Vennus LeYate nodded lightly. "I agree, senator, but the problems in the Fled'op sector should have some concerns to your planet. Do you see the new mining contract with the Denray, a clear enemy of the Fled'op, brining any hostilities towards you?"

Senator acLoil shook her head and smiled. "I can assure you, and my people, that the contract was written to avoid any actions towards us that may be perceived as hostile."

Vennus nodded, taking notes on her data pad, and adjusting the small vid-cam attached to her forehead, "So the Fled'op do not concern you?"

"Not in the least." The senator smiled.

"Could I get your comment on the recent movements to tax trade routes?" Vennus asked.

AcLoil almost rolled her eyes. "That movement will not come to vote for years. I do not plan to endorse those matters. The outlying routes have as much trade as the inner circles. I'm not familiar with the reasons for any of the problems. My trade minister would be the person to talk to; I can only offer speculations and opinions."

Vennus smiled, and opened her mouth to ask another question, but wasn't able to. The building suddenly shook, and the sound of a blast popped her ears. She winced, as she tumbled to the floor. The lights flickered, then dimmed. There was an instant of pure darkness, and she suddenly felt very afraid. The young reporter had only been interviewing lower level senators and covering safer stories. She hadn't had to face any wars or a dangerous situation. She covered her head, and squeezed her eyes shut as smoke started to fill the air.

"Senator?" She heard herself ask.

"I'm fine. Do you have any idea what's going on?" 

"I think it was an explosion. A bomb maybe."

"It's impossible to get a bomb in here. There are too many security checks."

Vennus pushed herself to her feet. "Senator I think you should get out of here. Are there emergency exits?"

"Yes." The Senator stood, and brushed her self off. 

Vennus started for the door, but it wouldn't open automatically. That meant the lifts wouldn't work either. She nearly swore as she tucked her data pad into her jacket pocket, and accessed the manual controls. The door slowly started to open, and she squeezed herself out. The senator followed.

The hallways were dark, and slowly filling with bewildered senators and aids. Vennus took a long look down the hallway, then frowned.

"Why aren't all the doors opening?" She asked. No one answered. Frowning, she pulled her comm out of her pocket, and accessed the security desk. 

"What's going on?" She asked without declaring who she was.

"There was an explosion. Something directly thermal. We can't contain the fires." The security officers sounded busy, but Vennus needed answers.

"Why? Why aren't there sprinklers?"

The security officer almost growled at her. "Did you notice how the doors wont open? The bomb took out our emergency generators. I don't know how they got it there. And who is this?"

Vennus' mind raced. "I just need answers, okay? How many apartments are empty?"

"Where are you?"

"Floor seventy-eight." 

There was a pause. "There are eighteen empty apartments on that floor. But we have officers on every floor, helping to evacuate the living quarters of the senators. I don't think we need your help."

Without signing off, Vennus clicked off the comm. She started to jog down the hallway, looking for which doors were open, and which were not. This was a great story. She made sure her vid was still recording, and began to open doors. Thankful she had taken the extra tech training, Vennus was able to make every door open. 

She passed a security officer, and stopped him. "Which floor did the explosion occur on?"

"The seventieth. The fires spreading. I suggest you get out of here." He pushed by her, and proceeded to check each door she had opened. He pulled out his comm link a moment later. "Floor seventy-eight clear. I'm proceeding to take the senators to the emergency landing pad…" His voice trailed off as he moved farther away.

Vennus turned, meaning to follow him out of the building, but stopped. There was something wrong. Her head started to hurt, and she turned down the hallway. She started to run, opening the odd empty door along her way. By her count she had opened every empty door but one. 

At the end of the long hallway, next to another emergency exit, was the final closed door. The performed the trick that had opened every other door, but it didn't work.

Again, and nothing.

Pulling a blaster out of her boot, the one that her over protective editor made her take where ever she went, and aimed it at the opening mechanism. The shot hit directly on target, and the door flew open. She stepped inside, and cautiously pulled the blaster up.

Her sharply trained eyes pierced through the near darkness. The first thing that caught her eyes was a blinking light on the wall. She let out a surprised gasp. It was second bomb.

She nearly sprinted from the room, when a voice stopped her.

"Help me."

Spinning on her heels, she turned to see a man across the apartment floor. She tucked her blaster away, and hurried to his side. He was humanoid, but his features were blurred by the darkness. Sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, he cast a trusting gaze on her. Vennus must have been shaking, but tried to put it far from her mind. The individual had been beaten. His face was swelled up, but his clear blue eyes met hers.

"What…what can I do? Who did this?" She somehow found her voice.

"Just please, help me get out of here."

She nodded dumbly, and helped the man to his feet. He leaned against her for support, which was hard for Vennus to manage. He was taller than she was by nearly a foot. His clothes looked dirty and old. Vennus wondered how long he had been in that apartment.

They moved up the emergency stairs, and to the craft that looked ready to pull away. They collapsed inside, and Vennus moved quickly to the pilot to tell him the building was going to suffer another explosion.

Moments after they soared away, the building was rocked by another blast. The senatorial apartment building was nearly destroyed. Vennus rubbed her arm across her face, and was shocked to see blood trickle across her vision. It wasn't her blood…

She rushed back to the rear. A medic was attending to the man, who had fallen unconscious. The medic looked up to meet her eyes. 

"Are you the one that helped him?"

She nodded.

"He wanted to tell you to contact the Jedi Temple." The medic continued.

"Why there?" 

"Because he said he is a Jedi, and you must speak with someone named Xanatos MesTelos."

Xanatos MesTelos broke form, and told his sparring partner to do so as well. "You fought well today, Calli."

Calli Bren shook her head. "No. I lost."

Xanatos smiled at the young padawan. While Xanatos' apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, was off planet on a training exercise, Xanatos had volunteered to help with the younger students sparring and saber training. He had always been admired by the instructor for his abilities, and finally had a chance to showcase them.

"Losing in training is a learning experience. You learn not to lose in a real situation if you lose here." He bowed to her, and she returned the gesture. "It took me a long time to learn that."

"But you did." Calli was only fourteen, and had only been an apprentice for a short while. "I don't know if I can."

"You can. I believe that the force trusts you to be a great knight." Xanatos said with sincerity.

She beamed, "Do you think that about your apprentice?"

Obi-Wan had never really felt like his apprentice. It had been five years since Obi-Wan had been entrusted to his care after Xanatos' former master and Obi-Wan's current master had died. Obi-Wan had nearly died along with him, but had returned to the temple. Xanatos had to fight off his fears to keep Obi-Wan, but had accepted the boy. Now, he didn't know life without him.

"Yes, Calli, I do." Xanatos nodded.

The room suddenly paused in movement, as every Jedi stopped what they were doing. The Force drifted warnings to everyone, even those who weren't fully trained. Then, the air shuddered. There had been an explosion nearby. Xanatos closed his eyes. It had occurred in one of the senate's apartment buildings. He cringed. An attack on the senate could be directly linked to any action that could bring harm to the temple. 

"Knight MesTelos?" Calli's voice broke his thoughts.

"Yes?"

"What was that?"

Xanatos' response was cut off by the training room master had called each student to return to their masters. The Jedi may be called in to help with the injured.

As the students finished their work and gathered their things, a second explosion came without warning, but everyone remained on their feet. Xanatos was in the process of crossing the room, when his head suddenly felt heavy. He groaned, and fell to his knees. There was a heavy presence crossing his training bond. This wasn't anything to do with Obi-Wan, he reasoned. Something was wrong elsewhere.

"Xan?" A soft voice asked. 

He shook his head. "What's going on?"

The room's master, and one of Xanatos' close friends, Cli-Alu Sinse helped him to his feet. "There were two explosions at the senate's apartment building. There were a few injuries, but no one was killed. Those buildings are mostly empty because they're not adjacent to the main buildings."

"I know that." Xanatos nodded, his head still aching.

"The building was nearly destroyed, and no one has claimed responsibility for it. Security is on full alert for every branch, so we are too." Cli-Alu leaned away from his friend. "Can you stand?"

"Yes, I think so." Xanatos was glad when his strength came back. "I have no idea why that happened. I have no strong connections with anyone there."

"Your apprentice?"

Xanatos shook his dark head. "No. He's fine, but his head probably hurts a little. I couldn't shield this from him."

Across the room, Xanatos heard the familiar chime of his comm link. Cli-Alu quickly cross the room and picked up the comm and tossed it to Xanatos. 

Xanatos answered it, "Hello?"

"Xan? It's Sade. I've got to talk to you. Could you come over to my apartment right away?" Sade's voice was smooth. She was always able to hide emotions in her voice, especially from Xanatos.

Cli-Alu exchanged a look with Xanatos, and shrugged.

"Okay, Sade. Can you tell me what this is about right now?"

"Sorry Xan. I'll see you right away."

Xanatos frowned, and rubbed his temples. "I seriously hope she has good news."

Cli-Alu shrugged. "It's hard to tell with Sade."

Xanatos started for the door, leaving his cloak behind. "I'll be back for my things later, Cli."

Cli-Alu nodded. "See you later Xan."

****

End Chapter One


End file.
